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A Lunatic Says He Loves Me

A Lunatic Says He Loves Me: Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Eighteen Levels of Hell

Han Rong didn’t take it to heart and even reached out to brush away the dust on Ding Ding’s shoulder with a smile, “I understand. After all, my beauty is unmatched by anyone.”

As he was leaving, his eyes flickered for a moment.

In an instant, Ding Ding seemed to see peach blossoms flying all over the city and was stunned.

“Hey, hey, hey?” Yuan Fei pushed his arm, seeing no response, he sighed with both hands holding his face, “My Han Ge is truly handsome~~”

Walking out of the police station gate, Ji Yan hesitated and spoke, “About that young police officer…”

“Hmm?”

He changed the subject on the tip of his tongue, “What do you want to eat tonight?”

Han Rong narrowed his eyes, “Yakitori, and eel rice.”

“Okay.”

After dinner, Han Rong logged into Jinjiang Literature City with his reader account to check the progress of Adu Shisan’s new work. “Blind Detective” was still stuck on the first case, “Eighteenth Hell.” He clicked into the author’s column and saw Adu Shisan confessing, “I have procrastination syndrome. I casually write. If you want to wait, then wait; if you can’t wait, then delete. I have a mine at home, won’t starve to death (doge).”

Actually, Han Rong himself was a loyal reader of Adu Shisan. Perhaps for this reason, during his split personality, he imagined himself as Adu Shisan.

Comment under “Blind Detective”:

Shredded Cabbage: This author’s confession is quite social.

Pepper Pig Stomach Soup: Digging a pit is fun, but not filling it is a crematorium.

Spicy Duck Neck: F*ck, I want to write an Adu Shisan X Jiji Big BL □□ story!!!

Thousand Sheets: lsd 1, you’re shipping the two kings of pits in Jinjiang. Aren’t you giving their readers no way out? [Er Kang hand] 2

Devil Rong: If you don’t fill in the pit soon, I’ll continue writing for you, okay?

The fallen man squatting at the bottom of the pit smoking: Lsd, go ahead and continue. If you can write something unbearable, it would be even better to force Shisan to come out and write more!

Han Rong opened a Word document on his desktop. The last time he had an episode, he continued writing “Blind Detective.” He copied and pasted the content into the comment section, and hit send. In less than ten minutes, his message icon was about to explode. Comments were piling up below.

Ken Chicken: Holy…crap? Is this Shisan manifesting or being possessed by Shisan??

Spicy Duck Neck: Worship the big shot!

Thousand Sheets: Who is this big shot wearing a vest 3?

Pepper Pig Stomach Soup: Could it be Shisan’s 4?

Shredded Cabbage: Maybe Shisan is testing out a new vest for himself. After all, his old vest has too much dirt on it, 2333.

Adu Shisan: The pen is yours, please! (Bowing to the big shot and handing over a cigarette)

Spicy Duck Neck: Author captured alive!

Spicy Duck Neck: Wait a minute…this dog of an author won’t keep lurking in the comments forever, will he? Have you been enjoying watching us suffer for the past few months?

Thousand Sheets: I think he has been…

Spicy Duck Neck: Dog of an author, if I call you, will you respond?

Shredded Cabbage: Author, doesn’t your conscience hurt?

Adu Shisan: We handsome men don’t need a conscience.

Afterward, the mighty army of urging for updates, carrying Gabriel cannons, bombarded the comment section fiercely, but they couldn’t coax “Adu Shisan” and “Devil  Rong” out anymore.

Han Rong closed the webpage, opened the travel official website, and swiftly booked two plane tickets. Ji Yan came in with a fruit platter and heard the other person laugh and say, “Doctor, let’s go on vacation!”

Without any hesitation, he agreed.

This spontaneous trip had no set return date.

October 26, 2018, Hucheng District Police Sub-Bureau, Xuezhou City.

“Why can others lie on the beaches of Thailand eating curry while I can only slurp instant noodles in front of a corpse?” Yuan Fei flipped through his social media feed, seeing Han Rong’s latest update, he looked up to the sky and let out a soulful cry of questioning.

Ding Ding, with stubble on his chin, hadn’t had time to shave, raised his head from the mountain of data, his eyes bloodshot, and spoke irritably, “Orders from above. If we don’t solve the case within three months, we can pack up and go home!”

“Wow! Three months? Maybe we can hold out until Han ge comes back!” Yuan Fei rubbed his hands excitedly.

“Do you think time is ample?” Ding Ding glared, “Stopping criminals from killing is a race against time!”

The Ding Ding group chat on the computer desktop blinked. Yuan Fei clicked on it, his smile gradually fading, and finally, he said with a troubled expression, “Well, the colleagues from the Public Security Command just received a report ten minutes ago. There’s been a murder in Fanshi District. It might be related to the unsolved cases before. Just three minutes ago, the city authorities found out and ordered us to find the culprit within a month. If we exceed the deadline, it’s early retirement!”

Bai Xinhuai pushed the door open and entered, “How many deaths have there been since Han Rong left?”

Yuan Fei: “Five.”

For a moment, the atmosphere became somewhat heavy.

Ling Feng put on his police uniform, his face cold. “Let’s go to Fanshi District first.”

The entrance to the residential building where the murder occurred was cordoned off with yellow police tape. Police officers went in one after another. Several troublemakers among the onlookers started taunting, “So many deaths and still no solved cases? Still calling yourselves the Serious Crime Unit? You might as well go home and sell sweet potatoes! Useless!”

Ding Ding’s temper flared up instantly, pointing at them furiously, “Say that again!”

“Hey hey hey, calm down, don’t be impulsive! I know how to deal with them!” Yuan Fei quickly intercepted him and took out his phone to make a call.

Ding Ding gruffly asked, “Who are you calling?”

Yuan Fei whispered, “Our brothers from the Anti-Triad Unit! Dealing with these thugs requires their help. Let me tell you, I was originally going to be assigned to the Anti-Triad Unit. Later, the Anti-Pornography Unit needed a few new recruits to go undercover, so—sigh!” There was a strong sense of “one misstep leading to eternal regret” in his tone.

Ding Ding had an expression like he’d seen a ghost, scrutinizing Yuan Fei from head to toe. After a moment of silence, he said, “…They’re asking you to pretend to be a client?” He couldn’t imagine Yuan Fei pretending to be a prostitute to gather intelligence.

Yuan Fei looked hurt, “I was much thinner when I first joined the Anti-Pornography Unit! It’s just that the cafeteria food is too good, so I’ve gained a bit of weight!”

Being thrown off track by him, Ding Ding’s temper also subsided. He pulled him into the police cordon and walked towards the crime scene.

Room 301.

Ling Feng put on gloves and shoe covers. “Everyone else, hold on. Let the forensic team collect evidence first, and the coroner conduct the initial autopsy.”

“Can’t perform the autopsy, sir,” Bai Xinhuai stood at the kitchen door, her tone flat, but Ding Ding sensed her dilemma as if by instinct, and it was a very deep one.

Ling Feng walked quickly, saw the body inside, and fell silent too. After a while, a roar of unbearable anger and helplessness erupted from Room 301.

“Damn it! Another Hannibal?!”

In the kitchen sat a large iron pot with a radius of 50cm, filled with oil, now cold. The victim lay in the pot, fried to a charred, unrecognizable mess.

Ling Feng, feeling irritated, rubbed his bald head. After calming down, he pointed at Yuan Fei. “Get Han Rong back for me! Immediately, right now!”

“I don’t have his phone number.”

“Call Ji Yan!”

As Yuan Fei dialed, he asked, “What if they refuse to come back?”

Ling Feng flashed him a bloodthirsty smile and said, word by word, “Then go to the Civil Aviation Administration, get a plane, and bring them back by force!”

Ling Feng put on gloves and shoe covers. “Everyone else, hold on. Let the forensic team collect evidence first, and the coroner conduct the initial autopsy.”

“Can’t perform the autopsy, sir,” Bai Xinhuai stood at the kitchen door, her tone flat, but Ding Ding sensed her dilemma as if by instinct, and it was a very deep one.

Ling Feng walked quickly, saw the body inside, and fell silent too. After a while, a roar of unbearable anger and helplessness erupted from Room 301.

“F*ck you! Another Hannibal?!”

In the kitchen sat a large iron pot with a radius of 50cm, filled with oil, now cold. The victim lay in the pot, fried to a charred, unrecognizable mess.

Ling Feng, feeling irritated, rubbed his bald head. After calming down, he pointed at Yuan Fei. “Get Han Rong back for me! Immediately, right now!”

“I don’t have his phone number.”

“Call Ji Yan!”

As Yuan Fei dialed, he asked, “What if they refuse to come back?”

Ling Feng flashed him a bloodthirsty smile and said, word by word, “Then go to the Civil Aviation Administration, get a plane, and bring them back by force!”

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Translator Notes
  1. From Cloudchip: lsd is a slang term used to refer to ‘upstairs’ ie. the previous comment. The actual word for this in Chinese may be 楼上的 [loushangde][]
  2. []
  3. *Vest – disguise[]
  4. Thirteen) younger brother, Shisi ((Fourteen[]
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